


Just a Prisoner (And You're Trying to Break Free)

by Nonsensewords85



Category: Legacies (TV 2018)
Genre: Anal Fingering, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Eventual Romance, F/F, Fluff and Angst, Josie loses her temper, Neurodiversity, Neurological Disorders, Oral Sex, Relationship(s), Vaginal Fingering
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-11
Updated: 2019-03-15
Packaged: 2019-11-15 10:59:04
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,597
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18072146
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nonsensewords85/pseuds/Nonsensewords85
Summary: Josie has to deal with the ramifications of the secret she's been keeping from Lizzie. Thankfully Penelope is there to help. Set immediately following episode 1x12.





	1. Won't See the Writing on the Wall

**Author's Note:**

> Had this idea after watching the end of episode 1x12 and couldn't let it go. The beginning is fairly angsty and deals with some bias towards neuro-atypical people.

Chapter 1: Won't See the Writing on the Wall

The letter exerts a pull on her. Like gravity acting upon a planetary body, only emotional and far more powerful. It’s still sitting on her desk where she’d placed it instead of just throwing it in the trash like she should have when the she-devil gave it to her weeks before.

It’s not like she hasn’t had opportunities to get rid of it. Her sister had offered to burn it for her. Hope had even offered to explode it with a spell. Supposedly it was supposed to be therapeutic. But she just couldn’t accept the offers. Something inside her had compelled her to hang on to it.

She couldn’t explain why she kept the damn thing, not to Lizzie’s satisfaction and certainly not to her own. As much as she wanted to blame it on the mind-altering slug that had infected her around the time Penelope had given her it, that ship had sailed. At most that could explain why she had kept it until after the talent show. But she still hasn’t gotten rid of it. And now weeks have past. Spring break has come and is more than halfway over and still the letter sits on her nightstand, gathering dust and pulling her attention to it.

Her eyes keep flicking over to it. And somehow its mysterious contents manage to rip her attention from the events of the last few days. She’s not sure why whatever horrid things her ex has to say to justify a year’s worth of torture outweighs almost being killed by both a mummy and a secret government organization but it’s the only thing constantly on her mind. It’s even drowning out current stimuli like her sister’s voice.

It’s the pillow that Lizzie throws at her that finally allows Josie to pull her attention away from the envelope and back to the moment. Her eyes trace over to the other bed where Lizzie is sitting straight up and glaring at her. Lizzie’s favorite pillow isn’t there and so it logically must have been what just hit her in the face.

Josie bites back a sigh as she tries to turn her full attention to the irate blonde. She’s not sure what issue is bothering Lizzie now and she’s far too tired to deal with it.

Sadly, just ignoring Lizzie isn’t an option. It wouldn’t be obvious to anyone else, but Josie knows her twin well enough to read the signs. Beneath the pissed off expression and loud demands her sister is more distraught than Josie can remember seeing her. Even her public rejection by their mutual crush at their sweet sixteen hadn’t bothered Lizzie this much.

So, whatever is bothering Lizzie needs to be addressed before it culminates in an episode. Why that had to be her job, Josie isn’t sure. Surely their father could take five minutes to actually deal with his daughters. Or maybe the school guidance consular could do her fucking job. But no both of them are too busy acting awkward around each other to even think about their responsibilities.

Shame fills her as she processes her own thoughts. She’s not being fair. Especially not to Lizzie. Her sister isn’t some burden to just pass off. Especially because Josie is as positive as she can be without having listened at all that Lizzie’s distress is related to the bomb Josie had dropped earlier that night.

If anything, Josie knows she should be thankful that Lizzie had waited this long to freak out. Hope has left their room and isn’t likely to come back that evening. So at least Josie won’t have to further humiliate herself in front of the redhead. Really, she owes it to her sister to help with the fallout from the situation she’d caused. Which means just riding the tiger until the opportunity presents itself to calm her sister down. Though her sister clearly doesn’t plan to make it easy. Lizzie’s shout grates against her ears.

“You’re not even listening!”  

She hadn’t been. Whatever Lizzie had been going on about for the last while had missed her ears completely. Josie’s full attention had been on the small envelope and the possibility of what its contents contained. Which is absurd. She’d meant it when she’d told Penelope at the Talent Show that they were never getting back together. So there’s absolutely no reason to keep the damn thing, let alone worry so much about it.

So why is she again staring at the letter, ignoring her sister and probably doing further harm to her most important relationship? It has to be because she’d just been forced to admit her attraction to Hope and the lengths she’d been willing to go to keep it secret. So she’s wondering about what could have been and not being alone for the rest of her life. Hope’s taken, and no way was she going after her sister’s sloppy seconds, so Raphael is out. Which leaves Penelope. The brunette is just a convenient thing to obsess over. Josie’s not seriously thinking of trying to find a reason to ignore her better judgement and take Penelope back, amazing kisses in the middle of the fucking hallway be damned.

 Lizzie’s wrath saves Josie from having to think about Penelope’s soft and hungry lips for even a second more. Josie has never been so thankful for her sister’s temper and complete and utter hatred for being ignored.

Another pillow sails across the room and this time it misses Josie completely. Though it does come dangerously close to smashing against the glass lamp she keeps on the nightstand. A soft hey spills from her lips though she knows it’s not going to help anything. Not when Lizzie is like this.

Seeing that Josie’s attention is finally on her Lizzie pounces. The blonde leaps from her bed and begins to pace. Which Josie knows isn’t a good sign. If she’s going to head off an episode then she needs to act fast and not allow her sister a chance to wind up any further. But she’s not fast enough and her sister rounds on her again.

“So first you’ve been lying to me for years and now you’re ignoring me! That’s not fair. I’m not the one who screwed up and I want answers. How could you say that? 

It’s a struggle but Josie manages to swallow her sigh of frustration. Oh good, so she’s going to be forced to repeat her unpleasant admission to satisfy her sister’s need to be told things over and over. It takes all of her energy, but somehow Josie finds the strength to keep her feelings from her voice and tries to explain to Lizzie again.  

“I already told you and Hope. I just didn’t want you to know I liked her. I was worried you’d take her away.”

It was the wrong thing to say. It doesn’t mollify Lizzie in the least. The blonde scowl deepens and Josie knows what comes next.

“Yeah you clearly weren’t listening to a thing I just said so drop the annoyed tone. I got that part already. What I don’t understand is how you can claim I always steal your crushes. I do not. Despite what you think, I am not a bad sister and I wouldn’t do that to you.”

“I never said-” Josie’s denial fails in the face of the withering look her sister is giving her. Ok, yes she technically had said that Lizzie was a bad sister, but she was under the influence of mind-altering slugs and that clearly had to absolve her. It wasn’t her fault that for once she was forced to speak the things that percolated in her mind. Still it wouldn’t help to say that. Better to do what she always did and smooth things over.  “You’re not a bad sister. I just… look, I can’t compete with you. You’re just everything I’m not. Bright, outgoing, social. Of course they always fall for you.”

She knows her attempt to assuage Lizzie has failed almost immediately. Her twin’s glare doesn’t soften in the least. Nor does Lizzie make a big melodramatic sigh and switch her focus to some other talking point. No, her sister’s eyes remain laser focused upon her until Josie can’t help but squirm silently from the discomfort. Only once Josie’s gaze falls to the floor does Lizzie speak again.

“I’m going to let the self-effacing crap you just said go because I call bullshit on that. That’s not what you said earlier. You said I always go after who you want. That implies intent. That I am a bad sister who constantly hurts you. I would never do that to you.”

 Josie knows she’ll feel horrible when the red wave that suddenly consumes her vision passes. But in the moment she’s helpless before the onslaught of her own emotions. Her mouth opens before she’s even sure what she’s going to say. The words that spill out should horrify her. In that moment though, they feel right.

“You do it all the time! Whenever I want something you have to have it. I couldn’t even get a word in before you declared dibs on Raphael, as if he’s some possession. The entire time we’re in Europe I can’t get two minutes alone with mom and fine, you two are perfectly aligned and I’m the odd one out, but when I finally have a chance to bond with the mom I take after you unilaterally decide that we aren’t going to spend any time with her. And don’t get me started on the honor council seat. Did you ever think to ask if I wanted to go for it? No, you just decided it would be yours. And did you even bother to campaign? No! I had to do all of it for you. I had to use my time and give up my belongings to get the other witches to vote for you for a position that I wasn’t even able to consider if I wanted. I can’t even spend a G-ddamned car trip without throwing up because you won’t even let me use the headphones I need to suppress my car sickness because you need me to entertain you instead of just dealing with Hope like an adult Because it’s all about what you want. Every fucking thing in my life is about keeping you safe and happy and from exploding over any little annoyance or disappointment. So yes, I lied to you to keep the chance to have something to myself. Because even though I’m not the freak I’m always the one who ends up alone. Just once I wanted to have a chance. Not that it mattered, I was too chicken to do anything about it.”

When the last word leaves her mouth she suddenly feels tired. It’s more than just the physical exhaustion of the day she’s had. It’s a lifetime of emotional exhaustion that somehow she’s managed to never notice. It’s like the feelings that birthed the words that streamed from her had a weight and she’d been carrying them for so long that she’d gotten use to the feel. But now that she’s expelled them there’s a void. It’s the size of a yawning chasm and she’s sure she’ll never fill it. It’s as deep as the silence surrounding them.

She’s sure the silence won’t last. That her own outburst will trigger her sister’s and the room will be filled with Lizzie’s screams and a burst of out of control magic. The only thing worse than having to clean the resulting mess will be the look of disappointment on her father’s face as he comforts Lizzie, his look reinforcing that Josie had failed in her purpose.

She closes her eyes to savor the last of the peace and silence before the chaos. Only nothing happens. When her eyes flutter open she finds her sister no longer in front of her. Lizzie is lingering in the doorway, face turned and eyes staring at her. Her heart shatters under the weight of the gaze. And then the Lizzie turns and steps past the threshold. The doors clicks closed and her sister is gone.


	2. You'll Find You're All Alone

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a short bridge chapter. I'm enjoying this one but I think the way this one is shaping up there's going to be at least a few short chapters for scene pacing reasons before we get to longer chapters.

Chapter 2: You'll Find You're All Alone 

Each time the clock hand moves it echoes like a shot in the silent room. It’s been over an hour and still Lizzie hasn’t returned. Josie is alone in their room, staring at her sister’s empty bed as she tried not to jump each time the minute hand moves. If the second hand sounds like a gun then her only way of describing the minute hand is as if a canon goes off next to her ear.

She feels horrible. She has since the words that sent Lizzie running had reached her own ears. The entire scene is etched in Josie’s mind, perhaps forever. Josie had felt her heart suddenly seize and somehow everything looked different, as if the florescent bulb lighting their room suddenly grows brighter and more intense. Her sister’s face had scrunched with a deep anger and for a second Josie had been certain her sister was about to strike her in the face. Which Josie would have gladly welcomed. It would have been much better than what had actually happened. The way that all of the emotion and color had just drained from Lizzie’s face is still bothering Josie. She’s pretty sure it’ll haunt her dreams. So will the way her sister simply turned and left as the door closed softly behind her. Somehow it was more final than the slamming of the door and a lot of screaming. It was like her sister no longer cared enough to be angry at her.

Josie’s stomach turns again. Bile makes it halfway up her esophagus. It’s not the first time she’s had that stress reaction, though it’s mostly confined to being in cars. It’s as if the stress has physically collected in her stomach and her body just needs to expel it and all will be right.

But it’s not that simple. She’s not sure anything can be right again. After all Lizzie had hated Hope for years because she’d believed the Tribid had mocked her mental state to their classmates. What Josie had done is so much worse. She’d lied to her twin for years and then like the idiot she was she’d found a way to make it worse. Confronting and insulting Lizzie with her worst fear, that even her sister couldn’t accept her was Josie’s worst mistake yet. One she has no idea how to fix.

So she’s been hiding in their room. It’s late and curfew has passed. She’d been hoping the thought that their father might come and check on them would be sufficient to lure Lizzie back. But apparently even pleasing their often-distant father wasn’t enough to make the blonde want to share the same room as Josie.

Josie knows she’s stalling. Lizzie isn’t going to just come back. Her sister would one hundred percent cut off her nose to spite her face. Which means it’s up to Josie to go find the blonde and try and make things better. Otherwise Lizzie would end up passed out on some dusty couch or outside, despite the chill in the early spring air.

It takes every bit of resolve that she can muster but she stands up from her bed. Each step towards the door is harder than the last. Her legs feel like lead and her mind races to find any excuse not to leave. Her eyes flit to the nightstand again. The letter is a temptation. She could sit back down and obsess over it some more. Maybe even open it and read it. Anything to distract her from having to confront what she’d done to her sister.

But she doesn’t have that luxury. She needs to do right by Lizzie, because no one else will. She steps past the doorway and lets it slam shut behind her.


	3. Passin' by, movin' straight ahead

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another short chapter. I'm hoping to pick up the pace of the story with the next chapter.

Chapter 3:  Passin' by, movin' straight ahead

She’s looked everywhere. Her feet are sore, her eyes are tired and if she has to suffer one more humiliation she’s going to scream. It was bad enough that she had to search every common room and Lizzie’s most frequented spots outside. But when those turned up empty she’d been forced to try all the little hidey holes and other nooks they knew, several of which were popular spots for students looking for a little privacy from their roommates. She’d seen more naked assess and various acts of sex that night then she had any desire to. The worst by far was seeing Hope and Landon leaving one of those spots with large smiles of their faces. Josie had done her best to get away unnoticed but of course the redhead’s eyes had locked on her and a small compassionate smile had graced those unbelievably tempting lips.

It had been absolutely fucking mortifying and Josie had wished her sister had just killed her instead of storming out of their room. It would have been less painful than having Hope pitying her. She knows the redhead isn’t interested in her, has known for years. But to have the redhead know just makes it worse.

That was the last fucking straw and so she’s heading back now. Her sister is probably already there. It’s late and Lizzie likes her beauty sleep. So, Josie will open the stupid door and find her sister laying down asleep and in the morning everything will be alright. That thought is the only thing that keeps one foot moving in front of the other.

Her feet fail and her heart freezes when she finally turns the corridor to find her room at the end of the hall. Lurking in front of it is the last person she wants to see right now. She’d rather endure an hour of that pitying look of Hope’s than have any conversation with the mistress of darkness right now.

She could turn and run. It’s an option though a shitty one. Penelope has already seen her and is rising from a seated position. Also Josie is tired and just wants this fucking day to end and it can’t so long as she can’t make it back to her bed. Besides why should she have to run? She’s not the one who dumped anyone and then acted like a total bitch for over a year. She’s not the one who’s constantly tormenting her ex’s sister and forcing said ex to play clean up. And she’s not the one sending the fucking mixed singles, being a bitch one minute and then drawing her into a kiss the next. Or writing fucking notes and other romantic things that are clearly a bad idea.

Screw it. It’s her room and she’s not going to let Penelope keep her from it. She’ll just push past and close the door and then stare at it wondering if she did the right thing for the next few hours. At least she’s honest with herself, she thinks.

“I don’t have the time or energy, Penelope. I threw the note away,” she says as she stalks past the brunette hoping the other girl won’t try and physically stop her. Thankfully Penelope just lets her pass, though Josie thinks she sees a brief look flash across her ex’s face.

“That’s not why I’m here. I just need a second.”

Josie pushes the door open and crosses the threshold. Unfortunately, her sister isn’t there after all. When she turns to close the door behind her she finds Penelope has closed the distance and is standing inside the door frame. She’d have to push the other girl with hands or the door to get it closed. It’s not worth the headache of getting into a physical altercation.

“Just spit it out. It’s been a long day.” Her voice is thick with exhaustion and the frustration building inside. There’s a flutter of guilt. Penelope isn’t really the right target for the way she’s feeling. But she’s too tired to do anything about it. Penelope is there and if anyone deserves some of Josie’s wrath it’s the other brunette.

Penelope doesn’t respond at first. Which is not something that thrills Josie. A flash of energy comes as ire flits through her mind. Once again her lips move and words spill from her uncensored. Her most private feelings are suddenly on display.

“Look I already told you. We’re not getting back together. I don’t care how well you kiss or what we did last week, I’m not making that mistake again.”

The colour drains from Penelope’s face and she takes a reflexive step back. Josie knows it won’t last so she takes advantage of the moment and pulls the door closed. The lock turns with a loud click. And it’s over. She’s back in the safety of her room and free to let her feelings run over her.

She makes it back to her bed before the knocking starts. A fist crashes against her door. Over and over again. She curls into a ball and wraps a pillow around her head in an attempt to create a barrier against the noise that besieges her ears. 

Eventually the pounding stops and she can hear Penelope’s voice, muffled by the fabric and the wooden door. The words aren’t distinguishable but the tone is pleading. Somehow Josie remains strong until silence fills the room again. Only then do her eyes flutter closed and sleep claims her.  

 

 


End file.
